i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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