giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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