Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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