I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
