are you still at the devil's house?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
