i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
