im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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