Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
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