i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
