nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
