but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
