Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
