but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
