Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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