I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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