I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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