if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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