Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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