so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
pray to the hookup gods
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
