i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
