My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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