She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
