it glows. i had to have it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
