I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
