Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
