my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
