you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
PANTIES FOUND
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
