Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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