a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
