I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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