Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
