NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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