He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
