good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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