there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
