so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
