He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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