i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
