Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
