My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
