He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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