all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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