Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
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I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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