Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
