She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
MIDGETS
????
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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