I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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