he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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