did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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