i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
you never un-have a 4some
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
