dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
