Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize