you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
