Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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