i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
