I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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