Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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