i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
