How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
