Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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