My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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