We're like a lot better than the average bears
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
