i think my tv is drunk
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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