why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
